The Trip.
by Alan Smithee
Summary: The gang goes bowling...Stuff happens...Come on, It's 1:30 Eastern! I should be sleeping...or doing homework...or something...


"The Trip."  
  
"Hey, you guys!" Selphie ran over to meet up with her friends.  
"What is it now? Some idea for a new Garden Festival AGAIN?" Seifer replied.  
"No. I just heard about this deal over at the bowling alley over in Balamb. They're just opening, and if we make an appearance their first day, they'll let us bowl for life! Whattaya say?"  
"Is this another 'We saved the world, what did YOU ever do?' meet-and-greet?" Squall sighed.  
"That's not the point. FREE STUFF...FOR LIFE!"   
"Ah, all right. We'll be there." Zell replied.  
"BOOYAKA! Now to get more people..." Selphie darted off from there.  
"Well, I guess we have to...Eh, at least we'll get free bowling..." Squall said.  
"Yeah. That always helps these things go through well...Plus, at least it's just the guys...and Selphie, but she always seems a little...mannish..." Seifer saw the barrel of Exeter pointed at his face. "...But that IS her charm...well, anyway, basically a guy's day out! Woo hoo!" Suddenly, Quistis and Rinoa ran over to them. "Are you guys talking about that appearance over at the bowling alley?" Rinoa asked.  
"Aw...But we wanted a guy's night out!" Seifer said.  
"Come on, Seifer. What's so different that can't do with us gals there, huh? I mean, were you planning to stick the pins up your ass or something?" Quistis asked.  
"Well...well, what if we WANTED to? I know that the Chicken-Wuss would get his jollies that way..."  
"WHAT DID YOU SAY?" Zell put up his fists.  
"Don't worry. Save it for the game. Kick his ass."  
"Don't worry. We'll just find a fourth somewhere, we'll take you down." The girls walked away. "We'll meet you there!" The guys replied.  
  
"Oh...::punch:: that Seifer...::kick:: is going to pay ::nut shot::...I'll kick his ass...::People's Elbow:: so badly..." Zell replied.  
"Come on, man. You can't do that..." Irvine said.  
"Why? Is there a problem? I'll beat him in bowling. Normal..."  
"Don't you know the rules? Females are playing around us, man!"   
"So?" Zell asked.  
"Rule number one of the guy code: If a female you're interested in is playing against you in a 'minor sport' like bowling or mini-golf, you HAVE to do the J-O-B to them. It helps you get over really well with them..." Irvine replied.  
"Yeah, but what happens? Rinoa's with Squall, Quistis is too...Quistis-like to be of any interest to me, Selphie's with you...I'm good! I can kick some ass, and if Seifer had that crazy idea that Quistis wanted him, he'd be too busy jobbing to notice! Who did start that Quistis/Seifer rumor, anyway?" Zell replied.  
"Good point..." Irvine replied.  
"Yeah. I mean, it's not like I'd be in any risk to have to go job hunting..." Just then, the two reached the bowling alley to see the girls already playing.  
"Oh, Zell, have you met our fourth?" The fourth shook hands with Zell. "Oh, hi, I was just waiting for someone to challenge me, these girls showed up...Are you Zell Dincht? Shut up! Everyone in town's got their story about you!"   
(::she's beautiful...make some wry statement that'll get you a head start...::)  
"I certainly hope we have a good game here...And of course, when I say game, I mean sex!" Zell replied.  
"Whoa...that's a little straightforward...Well, good luck..." The girl headed toward her teammates' side.   
  
"Smooth move..Chicken-Wuss. You give the male race a bad name. I'm sorry, but I'm going to have to take your Gladiator, you understand, right?" Seifer replied.  
"Shut up...(What did Irvine say...Just do the job...tank the match...man, she sure is pretty...Just aim for gutter balls... what's this I'm thinking?) Suddenly, Zell found himself in a dream sequence...  
"Well, what did you want to ask? Come on, what's your best line when I'm ready for you?""Zell..."  
"Um, uh, whoa...Can I touch your boobies?" Zell sputtered.  
"DANCE, CHICKEN WUSS, DANCE!" Irvine brandished Exeter and fired at Zell's feet.  
"Um, you don't understand...I thought you were a woman...OW!" Zell yelled.  
"Come on, Irvine, it's his turn. Let him up..." Squall replied.  
"Oh, all right..."  
  
"Come on...Remember...Check what she bowls...Lower than that..." Zell thought.  
"Dammit! One pin!" the girl said.  
"Okay...Go for gutters..." Zell took the ball and rolled it toward the pins.  
*crash*  
"What?" Squall asked.  
"A strike?" Seifer checked. Sure enough, the animation started for it to show the strike.  
"DAMMIT!" Zell yelled.  
  
"Don't worry man, next time up, you'll lose it. Ten pins is okay..." Irvine said.  
"You're right. I'm up...it'll be normal."  
*crash*  
"Another strike?"  
"Dammit..."  
  
"It's cool...Just chill..." Zell decided to take the lightest ball possible and roll it towards the pins slowly.  
"WHOA...He didn't even put power on it and the pins went down!" Squall shouted.  
"SHIT!" Zell said as he went over to his seat.  
  
"Hmmm...How do I get something that is hard enough to be a regulation ball, but still light enough to not move the pins? What else in a bowling alley could handle that..." Zell thought.  
  
"What happened?" Zell turned around to see his friends.  
"Dude, you just bowled a strike with a bowling alley hot dog!" Seifer replied.  
"Aw man... I bet she's looking too..."  
  
"Okay...I need to job this...I'll job it..." Zell hurled the ball towards the gutter. It quickly curved back for another strike...  
"Geez...Zell's having a good game..." the girl remarked.  
"Good nothing! He's gotten five strikes in a row!" Rinoa replied.  
"Um, isn't that a bad thing?" Selphie asked.  
"Dammit...the girls are looking..." Zell quickly threw the ball into the gutter. It jumped out of the gutter for another strike.  
"WHAT THE FUCK?" Zell asked.  
  
"Okay then...How do I not get another strike?" Zell thought. "I know...Use my skills..." Zell quickly rolled the ball in the opposite direction. However, he put enough power on the roll to send the ball into "My Final Heaven" and thus forcing the ball to roll around the world, knocking the pins down three separate times and placing the ball in his hand.  
"Aw...man..."  
"Nine strikes in a row? AWESOME, MAN!" Seifer yelled.  
"I really don't like this..."  
  
By now the entire crowd at the bowling alley was watching Zell's game with interest.   
"Okay, Zell. Last frame. You need three more to have a perfect game. Can you handle it?" Squall asked.  
"I think so, man..." Zell replied. Meanwhile, he was thinking. "Hmmmm...How do I get to choke on this one? Ah...I've got it..." Zell's eyes met with a toddler in the stands.  
"What'd you like, Mr.Marker-face Man?" the toddler asked.  
"How'd you like to roll the next ball?" Zell replied.  
"Goody!" The toddler took the smallest ball she could find and tried to push it down the ramp. "Ah, yes...Now I'll be salvaged..." "MOMMY! MOMMY! I ROLLED THE BALL DOWN AND ALL THE LITTLE WHITE THINGS FELL!" The crowd started cheering. "WHAT HAPPENED?" Zell thought. "Excellent, man! Just two more balls and you've got it! Roll them!"   
Zell decided to try his last couple of options. "Okay, people! For my next trick..." Zell proceeded to duct-tape his eyes closed. He then headed over to Selphie, had her channel Cactuar, and put the GF down his pants. He proceeded to roll "kid style". Suddenly, Cactuar shot him in the ass, leading him to add some more power to the roll and knock the pins down again. The crowd roared.  
"I'm going to need to hold off on this frame...to help my ass..." Zell replied. Irvine and Zell headed away from the crowd toward the mini-arcade.  
The guys headed out to sidebar.  
"Okay, man. One more ball..." Irvine said.  
"I can't believe it, man! You said that if I let the girls win, they'd like me! So I try to let them win, and this happens! What do I do?" Irvine took a deep breath, then slapped Zell in the face. "YOU FUCKING IDIOT! You get that last strike! Girls also dig perfection! You can have that! Do you SEE that crowd? If there's a girl watching you right now who wouldn't jump at the chance to give you some nany right now, I'll swear off women! Just go for the strike. They want it..." Irvine said.  
"Excellent. I'm going for it..." Zell and Irvine went out of the arcade and back to their lane.  
"Make way..." Zell picked up his ball and headed over there. "Do it...to impress the people." He rolled the ball down the alley. It didn't curve a bit....  
Nine pins fell immediately...one started to wobble...  
it kept wobbling...  
and the pin setter saved it as it was about to fall.  
"FUCK!" Zell yelled.   
"Let's go. 300...that's beauty. That was just a lame 299."   
"Dude! What happened? You had it, man!"  
"I don't know. Let's go, man." The guys met up with the girls and headed out. The mysterious girl stayed back to talk to Zell.  
"Well, um, hi..." Zell asked.  
"299? Not bad...Could probably beat it..." the girl replied.  
"Well, I guess I'll have to play you and check, huh?"   
"I guess...So, what was going on in your head at the time?"  
"You know...um...trying to impress you..."  
"You...bowled...a near perfect game...to impress me? You could've just asked me out, you know..."  
"Yeah, but that's...that's hard, you know?" Zell replied. The two laughed and left the alley together. 


End file.
